Working on love

The binging has all but ceased. I can tell I have put on some pounds. I am working every day at loving ME. Until I love me I won't consistently make healthy choices. It is not because I cant stick to low carb it is because I cant stick to anything at all. The low carb food is great and now that I found Kevin's recipes at Low Carb Friends and the recipes from Healthy Indulgences there is a low carb version for everything I love as comfort food. We had great biscuits last night- a Kentucky staple! The food and way of eating is not the problem, excuse, or reason. It is me and my need for self destruction and patterns of self hate. I truly believe that even with my grief and fear I am trying to surrender to God about Mom's grim cancer prognosis that if I loved myself I would find better ways to deal with it than binging and destruction. I feel like I have to accept myself and love myself as obese as part of this process. Especially as I quit focusing on appearance and numbers on a scale.