For Eliana

Lets talk briefly about what is past. Dedicated to WOE lost 50lbs or so in 4 months. Bg avg of 90. Huge reduction in Novolog and Lantus and Met. A1C from 10. something to 5.6. Pregnant after 8 years of grieving and arguing with God over infertility. Pregnancy cravings and exhaustion led to higher carb amount. Family pressures, mom with cancer, stress from ice storm all together resulted in backslide and 60lb pregnancy gain!!! C-section, NICU, recover, loss of dear friend who was to mw my birth (resulting in transfer and hosp horrors) finding out Mom was probably dying of triple negatie breast cancer, subsequent rollercoaster, husband unable to find job, family persecution, birth post traumatic stress and guilt, long complicated recovery: STRESS STRESS GRIEF GRIEF STRESS STRESS GRIEF

I have Ellie. My bG has been in the 200's. I have been killing myself. Relied on carbs and sugar to deaden me to the pain just like a drug because that is how it affects our bodies when we are diabetic, drwoning in a sugar coma. Examined myself about a 6 weeks ago, prayed, journaled, cried my heart out. Forgave myself, Forgave others, Forgave God. New me.

I have Ellie now. She just turned 6 months. I want to be fit and healthy for her and Jason and me.

Have lowered my bG to avg of 125. Lost from 155 to 137 over 6 weeks. Husband on low carb also, has lost 15 lbs of dangerous belly fat and is much happier and energetic and creative.