11:16 and I am awake waiting to run the diapers on a hot wash after they finish this cold one. Not to be up at midnight. Dear J went to bed at 9pm exhausted from work. E is finally in bed as of 10 minutes ago. I am settling in to watch Romancing the Stone, one of my fave movies, as everything is almost packed for Mom's tomorrow, with a chilled Blue Moon beer in hand- out of the bottle as I am to lazy to wash another dish tonight. We have a bottle of Champagne but what is the point without someone to drink it with?

I am so upset by the wheat gluten fiasco. Why was I so stupid? Just because it was in a low carb cookbook does not mean it is suitable for diabetics. My bG is still at 130 and it is 7 hours later!! Took another 5u bolus of Novolog just now and upped my usual nightime Lantus 3u because I anticipate tomorrow being high also as that is usually how my body works. I will keep close monitor on it. I should have consulted Dr B. And of course I ate way to much of the dough and several of the cookies instead of 1. Evil recipe. I will not make it again it is not worth it.

Onto the new year! I hope y'all are celebrating bigger than we are.

Last day of 09 and I am feeling down. Dreary wet day with no chance of getting outside. I had envisioned being into my size 14 jeans by now. Despite all the great encouragement I feel so sad about that. Took a day off from working out as all my muscles were screaming and I had to have tylenol just to sleep the tension headache was so severe. Made the mistake of cooking with vital wheat gluten for peanut butter cookies, got the recipe in a low carb cookbook, I feel and am so bloated and gross feeling. Yuck! And my bG shot up to 130! Ah well.

On the bright side. Next year is a new year and it can be all low carb and healthier than ever! E will be 1 so soon and I am already thinking of another once I get healthy and fit again..... I miss her being tiny and cuddly and smelling of a newborn, it went by so very fast. I am also starting a program to read the Bible through in 90 days repeating that 4 times in 2010. I once read the Bible in 2 weeks so I am certain I can do this. I need to do it. I long to do it. But I have serious issues with sticking to anything I do....

What else? I feel great! Hoping that you, dear reader, whomever you are, do to!

Thoughts on Exercise

Yesterday i went all out. We have FitTv so at 5:30A I did Gilad's Total Body Sculpt without weights. I had to so some sidesteps and marching through half of the squats. Youch! I sped up the arm moves to be effective without weights. Later on I caught 10 minutes of All Star Workouts with Michelle May, a great stretching floor torso work that seemed very pilates like. I also caught 10 minutes of an ab workout. We took a 1 mile walk. And I warmed up last night with Shimmy but couldn't do the workout as E needed me. This morning I intended the same but E caused me to miss Gilad. So I thought I would do energy flow yoga with Shiva Rea, my absolutely fav yoga instructor I have many of her DVD's and she has given me tons of strength and flexibility and inches lost last year before E. Got 5 minutes in before declaring it far to advanced for an injured wrist and my out of shape body. I am going to keep one of her DVD's in to start more slowly. Anyways, my abdominals around my incision are burning in this weird tearing stretching pulling unnerving kind of way. YOUCH!!! So maybe taking a break from working out today.... I love working out and I tend to overdo.... and alot of it is the absence of guilt when I do work out!

Sleep schedule

I rise at 4:45am to prep J's breakfast and lunch before he leaves, I then do some housework and studying and eat a bite because I am starving before my 5:30 workout (as of today the workout, previously more housework). Then to bed again by 6:15 am.
We then sleep until 9:30ish and have breakfast, then lunch at 1ish, a long walk, nap, dinner at 5:30. Bed at 11pm or so and E half awakens me every couple hours to nurse.

My weight loss has stalled and my bG goes up after the workout to 130's from 80's fasting. I am taking 6u of Lantus upon waking and 6u between 9 and 10pm. I also have Novolog if needed. If I have the 5Am food and then am starving when we get up at 9:30A and have to eat again- usually a pro shake is all I have time for then. Then I have lunch and dinner. That is more than 6-12-12. What am I to do?

Stalled Weight Loss, Help Please

I am stuck between 224-228 for 6 weeks now!!! ACK. What is going on? I am staying on plan on within 10 of plan. My bG is normalizing to under 110 consistently with fasting of 80 and 2 hr of 90's.... I am using 10u less insulin all the way around. My sleep is a bit wonky. I workout everyday and go for a 1 mile walk carrying a 20lb baby in a wrap at least 5 times a week (weather for E keeps me in sometimes if it is very windy or wet). I am so frustrated and if it weren't for the bG I would say ummm well, I would be done with it..... Any advice, tips or encouragement? I am in the process of using the search engine to find back posts from others...


So, I have been doing some searching over at Dr. Richard K. Bernstein's Forum and will then do some over at Jimmy Moore's site. But I need to crack down and reevaluate. I MUST MAKE CERTAIN I eat only 6-12-12. I will try that for 2 weeks, as well as fastidiously recording in fitday. If there is no change then I will start lessening protein bit by bit. I lost the most weight, interestingly, when I had 3 eggs scrambled with cream and butter and 3 strips of bacon every morning.... Must have jump started my metabolism. I have been having a pro shake or a lc muffin and cream. I have also been eating alot of lc goodies as I experiment with recipes and got through Holiday highs and lows and parties. Cutting that out for 2 weeks also. I hope.......

Resoloutions

I have been having a bit of Holiday depression and abusing low carb treats. Trying to use them as comfort food to heal/hide the condition of my heart and soul. I was just thinking that this morning as I woke up. Perfectly timed, and wanted to share what was in my inbox from Revive Our Hearts this morning:

"December 28, 2009

Never Give Up

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It’s the season for making New Year’s Resolutions. Listen to one of Jonathan Edwards’ resolutions.

Jonathan Edwards: Resolved, never to give over nor in the least to slacken in my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.

Nancy: While we’re thinking about resolutions for better diet and exercise, Edwards’ resolution may seem a little quaint. He was resolving never to give up in the fight against sin. That’s an important resolution.

He knew there were temptations in his life that had a stronger grip than others. I’m the same way. There are sins that I’ve struggled with for years.

Edwards refused to get used to those besetting sins. He was resolved to wage relentless warfare against sin by the power of God’s Spirit.

Why not consider making that your resolution this year?

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

This transcript is taken from the nationally-syndicated
daily radio program Seeking Him with Nancy Leigh DeMoss."

Gluttony and addiction are sins and I am constantly beset by them. I am constantly waging war against them. Yet, I have rarely engaged God to assistin the battle. Except when I first started lc last year and had to constantly pray for the ability to choke down meat as I had been always a vegetarian. Much to think on, study on, and pray on this morning. Hopefully will have time before E wakes up.

Another victorious holiday! I only had 1 small forkfull of pecan pie and 3 peanut M & M's at the the third location. Yay! J and I made a cream puff pudding to take and it was a hot and quelled our sweet tooth. Yay! First Holiday in years that my bG averaged 98.

Happy Holidays to all!

What NOT To Do With PolyDextrose

I am so very very nauseous wish I could throw up. Feels like the stomach virus. So abd it is making my nose run, so I thought I would post to spare others.

Made this recipe last night with some changes. Have used al these ingredients before, just not in this amount of polyd.
http://www.lowcarbluxury.com/recipes/recipe-cookie07.html

Didn't have splenda so used PolyD in same amount.
J said they made him sick after he ate 2. I ate same and was fine last night. I ate 2 this morning as I was starving and E needed me. And I wish I hadn't.........
Despite the sickness the texture was awful. PolyD imparts gooiness and chewiness and that was just to much Poly D.

Yuck yuck yuck. May never want a sweet thing EVER again. This may have benefits......

Another successful Holiday party! We requested pizza with extra cheese and the more meat the better and then we each had 4 pieces with the toppings scraped off onto a low carb tortilla. It was so yummy and satisfying, neither one of us were tempted to eat the crust. I had put together a chocolate eclair low carb trifle and we enjoyed that and shared with those who wanted to try. For the first time in years- possibly all my life- I enjoyed a social evening without drugs. Now don't flip out here, by drugs I mean carbs. I have been abusing and self medicating with this drug since the moment my body found out before my head knew that I was diabetic. Carbs for a diabetic are a very powerful upper and downer in my experience. Normally I would have been high as a kite for a few hours and then be so low and stoned, unable to move or think clearly. Until I had another fix. I have spent much of my life drugged. Wow. I see now how bG effects me closely thanks to Dr. B. It makes me wonder what I would have had the confidence, motivation, clear thought process, emotional stability to try had I not been drugged...... Onward!

And my Lantus lowering needs to be a bit lower, I am now in the low 70's

Weight Stall Is Over! With Chocolate Sauce and Cake

Woohooo! Down from 226-228 to 224.8! Yay! And that is with having sausage soy flour biscuits and lc cake and chocolate sauce yesterday. Yummy. Also my insulin needs to be dropped I have been taking 8u of Lantus Am to Pm and for the past two days I have been in the 60's often. I am going to go ahead and drop to 6u over the next three days and see if that works for me, I can always correct with Novolog if I get above my target.

Comfort Food Unveiled and Deshrined

Comfort food. I thought comfort food was just that, comfort. Turns out if you remove the addictive substances- carbs of all kinds- and recreate them low carb style, then those foods aren't so comforting or craveable. They are simply food that tastes fatty and nutritious. Too fatty and nutritious to overindulge at one sitting or by continuing to go back over and over until it is gone in a day. Interesting.

My weightloss has completely stalled. For 2 weeks now I have been from 226-228 and back again. I am so frustrated!

Yep. Meter never lies. Started last night, congestion, sore throat, earache, body aches and low grade fever. Probably picked up H1N1 from being at the Dr's office for 2 hours Tuesday near people who had had the nasal spray. yuck! Anyways.... E is sick also. Rough night and day. weightloss still stalled. Maybe the illness? Maybe body holding on to fat more because I am ill but must produce alot more breastmilk for the poor sick little one who is nursing constantly? Ah well. Fully into the swing of low carb. If I feel stressed I am using my other skills but also have the freedom of low carb comfort foods thanks to allowing myself some protein powder, soy flour, and an assortment of artificial sugars and syrups. Happy happy low carber who now gets a bit nauseous at the thought of wheat flour and cane sugars....

My bG was 126 as I went to bed last night so I took 6u of Novolog and my usual 8u of Lantus. I got up at midnight it was 124, I got up at 5am it was 124! Low carb all day yesterday. Stress or hormones? E had a really fussy and temper tantrum filled day yesterday. She can do so much now and she thinks she can do anything... It was very demanding and I got nothing done in the house. At least I managed to walk with her and Yukon. She hit her head hard before bed so I slept restlessly checking on her and she nursed alot I presume because her head hurt. I am up now to catch up on housework I hope but I am so tired, my nose is running and my throat is swollen and hurts. I thought from the cold outside or maybe allergies but maybe it is illness. We have been out alot and it seems EVERYONE EVERYWHERE is sick. Yuck.

Still going! I had been experimenting with low carb chocolates and soy flour muffins, crusts, etc and so had stalled in weight loss. At least that is what I believe is the reason. And I had also been unable to walk in the rainy weather. I just started walking again Monday so that might also have something to do with it. The experimentation did not effect my bG. I am still at 226. My bG 7 day has gone down from 117 now to 112. Yay! Goal is 83 and never above 110.

I am down to 227 again after getting back up to 234 After Thanksgiving and the first weekend of Decembers eatathon. Best news is my average bG for that week and 1/2 was 154 it is now down to 117! I feel so much better. And I am depressed I lost only the 7 lbs I had gained during the eatathon. But WOW 7lbs in a week and a half is awesome!!! If I had stuck with it I would have been down to 220. Ah well. I got up and started walking again like Ellie does.

I have been making alot of comfort foods. And it sure helps to be able to enjoy without guilt greasy sausage, peppers and a few onions, that is quickly becoming my favorite! I have made some great recipes from George Stella: Spice Muffins with walnuts topped with plain cream cheese, Blueberry Pancakes with the tiniest drizzle of sf honey, and the best pizza crust I have had on lc. I have also been making the peanut butter cups and nut chocolates I created at 1 to 1.5g carb each. Yum Yum! I recently came across a photo of the low carb raspberry cake I made for my birthday last year. I am just lookign for the recipe, I hope it is in my recipe blog so I can take it to Christmas to share along with a plate of assorted mini muffins and chocolates, and a roastbeef/green onion/cream cheese and nut cheese ball with salami slices as crackers. I am also hoping to take the family's heirloom cream puff recipe and make it low carb...... Now if only there was a way to replicate the crunchy topping of creme brulee.....

Happy happy lo carber!

Made up a 2 week grocery list based off my new cookbooks from George Stella and Dana Carpendar. Spent $180!!!! However, I had to buy a lot of shelf staples and $20 of non grocery items so....... Anyways, tonight we had blueberry pancakes. With a TINY drizzle of SF Honey. So far so good bG wise. I am however FREEZING. No fever but have the heat to 72 and still cant get warm.... No one else is cold... Is this a low carb thing? Bought lots of stuff for sweets and comfort foods as I try to sail through carb cravings and holidays. We even got a case of Pepsi 1 and will be making frozen pops. Lots of yummy food in the kitchen.

Successful Holiday Party!!!

Last night was great. Ate a bit of a chicken breast before everyone arrived to curb my hunger and longing eyes towards the carby stuff. Then I got to teh front of the food line partly because I had to fil E's plate but also because I wanted to dip mine without the temptation of what others got. I ate 1 grilled chicken breast piece and 1 fried after I pulled off the carby breading, it was KFC. 4 halves of deviled eggs and a chunk of pulled pork. Sadly, no one thought to have just veggies or salad anywhere and there was no butter or fats of any kind and I forgot ours. But that is all I ate. Even avoided the carby no sugar desserts! Yay!!!

Recipe Blog is rolling again!

Recipes That Have Saved This Diabetic's Life is being updated as frequently as possible again. Posted a new recipe I created today.

Ok. Stopped beating myself up. Thinking about how often E falls while trying to walk and she usually just grins big and tries again. And now, she mostly walks!
Realized can't give up sweets while doing this. I had researched that Splenda is to big to pass into breastmilk and also that is was in my lc tortillas all along and E has had no ill effects. Ordered from Netrition: Fiberfit, Splenda, Wheat Bran, Oat Bran (both to use in moderation), coconut flour, soy flour, protein powder. For Christmas from Granny I ordered myself several cookbooks by Dana Carpendar and 1 by George Stella. I rented FatHead from Netflix. I watched Blaine's LC Kitchen on FitTv. Trying to surround myself...

Like E I need to learn skills to balance, baby steps: learn alternate ways to destress, workout at least 15 min a day which I have been able to thanks to FitTv, surround myself in Low Carb....

Stress

So after being repentant this morn what did I do for lunch? Order and eat 1/2 of a 16" supreme pizza because we have not beent o grocery and E needed me and the realtor was here forever and I was having trouble with the new cell phone and trying to decide to put my old dog to sleep and...... I feel miserable. No energy, swollen, blah, and fuzzy headed. All that work positively gone again. Starting over AGAIN........

So I eat to relieve stress. I eat to relieve stress. I eat to relieve stress. Food is not a stress reliever. Food is not a stress reliever. Food is nto a stress reliever. Food is not a stress reliever. What is then??? What can I do with E in arms or when she is needing me present?

2 minutes of yoga stretches
Prayer
Read a scripture
5 deep breaths
5 minutes of dance with E
a tall glass of ice water
smile for 5 minutes- set timer
make E laugh
wash face
brush teeth
comb hair
moisturize hands
moisturize feet and put on socks
moisturize E and giver her a baby massage
Call Jamey and tell her a joke

All had been going so well and then a trip to parents over the weekend and I downed enough carbs to fuel me on lc for two months. Non stop. Cupcakes, muffins, pumpkin pie, cereal, milk, vanilla wafers and peanut butter... And the day we left at home I made peanut butter cookies, 7 of them, and ate them all. We leave Mom's and we have a lovely steak and green beans with no incliniation for the beautiful desserts taht kept passing by our table. Yet I had been even eating stuff I didnt like at moms..... what am it to do?

Weight loss still stalled.... Stress from J being gone most of the week with Finals and new job? Bad weather that keeps me from taking the baby out for our walk? Cheese, or chocolate? Stalled due to big carb day last Friday? I am not sure. I wish it would change. Trudging on with great bG.

Well. Still low carb and settling in but weight loss has stalled, I figure due to the cake and crust Friday as well as eating more cheese past few days. So less cheese.... My clothes are fitting much better so maybe I am also gaining muscle. I have been a bit tired which I think is also backlash from Friday. However my bG is leveling w an average of 110! Yay! Onward!