Feel like my emotions and life just spin spin spin. Always coming back to the same thing I am stuck. I am frustrated. I feel hopeless. i feel powerless. I was taught to just give that to God and accept his strength. i now know that is not entirely the answer. I must be able to find or to be open to receiving the soloution I then have to work out. I have never healed, progressed or got what I need or want because I have always been taught you sit and get. That that is surrendering to God's will! As a consequence I have never been able to develop me and my talents to improve myself or anyone else.
I am having much problems right now as a mom. ic ant wait for her to go to sleep. I am letting her watch about 2 hours of Cailou a day so that Ic an get things done. But the day just slips by like grains of sand with hothing to show for it. I feel I am running out of the 'grace period' with her and that I ma no longer giving her enough. I just dont know how. i want to change but I dont know the steps or the path. Saying I want to change is not enough. I have to have a plan but where do i learn such. I can barely haul my ass out of the chair in front of the tv or laptop lately. I am miserable, hollow, empty and unhappy and it shows.
I love her dearly I feel so thankul to have her but I am strugglign with so much lately I cant see forward..
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