The diagnosis came back yesterday. The cancer is in mom's bones, trachea, lungs. They stamped her with an expiration date of 1 to 1.5 years. Yesterday sucked. Today is moment by moment. I was thinking this morning how grand the world would be if everyone treated everyone as if each moment was valuable and precious because we don't know how rare those moments will be. I have not lived my life this way. I think my mom has been trying to tell me that for years but with the wrong words for me to get it. It came across to me as 'the sky is falling'. Not that each moment would then be perfect because nothing on earth is perfect but the world might be richer, sweeter, kinder. And while I was writing this my husband turned on the TV and I snapped at him because I am writing! Ah what a flawed person I am constantly at war with my self. This was in my email this morning from Revive Our Hearts:
No Excuses
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Think for a minute about the first sin. Eve really couldn’t make excuses. She couldn’t blame her upbringing like so many do.
“My mom was never really there for me. I think that’s why I treat my kids the way I do.”
Nancy: She couldn’t blame her husband.
“He constantly puts me down!”
Nancy: She couldn’t blame her environment.
“I just come home so stressed. I guess I take it out on my family.”
Nancy: There were no outside factors that influenced Eve to fall to temptation. She had no financial problems, no weeds to pull, not even any in-law problems. Her problems began with herself. She made a choice.
The truth is we can’t really make excuses for our sin, either. Like Eve, we’re responsible for our own choices. James tells us “each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.”
Have you been making excuses for sin? If so, would you admit your own responsibility and trust in the blood of Christ for forgiveness?"
The last two paragraphs.... wow... I make excuses, plenty of them. Why can't it fully sink in that sin is a choice? I choose to be grumpy and snappy by the very fact that I don't choose to count my blessings and lean on God and be at peace. I choose to eat high carb foods because I don't choose to honor my body as God's wonderful and beautiful and valuable creation. I choose to sit on the couch and feel exhausted because I don't choose to get up and exercise my beautiful body to gain more energy and endurance.
Choices. Sin. Death.
Choices. Beauty. Value. Peace. Love.
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2 comments:
I can so relate to your post. Everything we do is a choice. Sin is a choice just as much as JOY is a choice. Although I am not fully convinced it is a war of "us". I believe it is spirtual warfare and we must choose. I so agree about choosing not to eat the foods right for our body, not to get up off the couch. I live with those choices daily - for me, they are bad choices. A friend told me the other day that we make time for what we want to do. I kind of snickered, but it has been eating at me so bad ... for she is right!
I am sorry to read the news about your Mom and I will pray for her, you and the rest of you family.
I was looking at it the wrong way. It is spiritual warfare. If it is not of God than it is of Satan. I am continually believing the lies Satan tells and running from God and not even realizing it... Thank you for the insight and reminder. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.
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