Why am I running from God?

Indeed.

Could it be because:

I keep falling and I am tired of falling and failing at everything?

I get so wrapped up in the rapture of devotion time and then life comes along and I slam to the cold ground?

Don't feel worthy?

Lazy?

I read the Bible and get confused about what it means for me and am afraid I will go off on some detrimental path just as I did with that home worship group years ago?

Becasue I get so enraptured and zealous and then I get so discouraged when I lose clarity or can't accomplish anything?

I don't know.

I still feel like I am nowhere near the heart of the matter. Will have to dwell on this...