Progress then failure

Was down to 220. Followed plan all week. But failure was coming.

Been dealing with serious family issues - not with me and Jason- of health and losing a home. This situation is eating me up inside and the injustice of it by the person causing the problem is unbelievable. I am so heartbroken and angry over it.

Yesterday I spent the day driving back and forth to storage with Ellie cleaning out the utility room. I had no time to cook eggs every few hours. I ate chicken nuggets with her from a drive through, Yeah I know bad mom. I was also exhausted from sleeping at my in laws in order to attend a birthday party- where I didnt even it cake! woohoo! Had to then pack to stay at inlaws again for more family 'fun'. J is on nights so I barely see him from Thursday to Monday night between work and sleep.

A warnign of overload should have been eating 6 squares of 72% Chocolate resulting in feelings of short temper with E. But it disolved into 3pm eating 1/2 a biscuit of KFC, 3Tb of mashed taters and 2TB of gravy even after ordering the ridiculously expansive and good double down for myself- J ate half- for his breakfast as I had no time to cook and a dirty kitchen from cleaning and packing. Took alot of insulin to cover as I was already 189 from chocolate and stress.

Refused pizza before gathering but realized there was no butter to cook my eggs as I had forgotten it so I ate nothing. At gathering did not eat shortcake when everyone else did, had a bite of E's raw strawberries instead. Had to listen about low fat this, calories that cholesterol that drivel while feelign I could not speak up about the truth because 'look at me I ams til so fat who would believe me' and thus felt powerless. then discovered I was very shakey at a mere 72! So had a piece of shortcake coolwhip and all. Got back to inlaws starving.Ate three pieces of papa ohns thin crust, then 1/2 piece of shortcake. Then later 1/2 c mixed nuts, 8 club crackers, 1 Lil Debbie oatmeal pie, 1/2 cinnamon raisin bagel. An oh yeah middle of the night before I ate 1/4 bagel! I just even said outloud screw the diet I have laready failed today.

The guilt of what I ate, mixed with the guilt of others seeing my failure and fuelign their adamant anti low carb rhetoric is crushing. I was feeling so AWESOME. But I was not prepared emotionally or practically for what felt like a sudden landslide but had been building for awhile. I didn;t get this heavy because I have a healthy relationship with food and stress.

So sorry to my readers for my failure. So very very sad.

Onward!